my “art” as i’m used to seeing it isn’t flowing out of me in the ways I’ve grown accustomed to.

'i’m not experiencing growth in the same way.

i’m not hearing from God in the same ways

he’s teaching me that a relationship with him requires that i pursue him

i’m learning about his creativity

how it flows out of him in everything he does

how he builds cathedrals from ashes and oak trees from manure.

how his creativity manifests differently ever time he inhales and every time he exhales.

just when i thought i had a safe, reliable, repeatable, consistent creative process, i had to learn that creativity doesn’t = images.

that growth and comfort cannot coexist.

creativity can be expressed in how I love and invest in my friends.

it can be expressed in how i use my time.

in how i steward my gifts.

in how i worship my savior,

in how i say no to fear and yes to faith

how i pursue my creator.

how my instinct when i feel that pit in my stomach, growing into an anxious outburst, changes from one of shutting down and giving up to one of refocusing and breathing deeper.