I can't count the number of times in my life I felt like I was up against a wall and couldn't see how something would work out, only to discover that the solution was actually simple (and that I can't control anything). All I needed was perspective (and sometimes maybe a ~reality check~ ... but denial is something I'll get to later).
The girl in this image is experiencing the same thing - literally.
She can't see that the wall is paper thin, and all she would have to do to get past it is invest a little effort, and push it over.
In my final semester of my last year of college, I took a class called “Leadership, Ethics, and Social Responsibility”. I’ll admit, as a Christian-Conservative-Introvert, I was super apprehensive about this class.
Lucky for me, we didn’t talk about anything political, and my teacher actually made my top 5 teachers of all time list. We talked about the concept of resistance a lot. We learned that Resistance is mental. And in order to respond to resistance, we have to do two things. 1. Identify it. 2. Make a conscious choice to face it.
We all experience “resistance” in different ways-
I experience resistance at my job. I experience resistance EVERY TIME my alarm goes off in the morning. When it’s time to clean the cat box. When I have opportunities to expand my skill set. I experience resistance when I have an entire day to myself and I could spend it digging into God’s word and learning about Jesus, or I could watch an entire season of a trash show…And, surprisingly, I experience resistance when I have the time to create.
Yes, creating is a therapy for me - it’s a process that helps me… uh.. process… things I’m dealing with in life, and allows me to share that ..process.. in a unique way. (Process process process) But that doesn’t mean that every spare second I have I want to dive into something creative. Most of the time I’m intimidated by the things I have to do to create the next image, and that resistance holds me back from jumping into my messy creative… process…
We all experience resistance, and it can manifest in so many ways.
It’s that feeling of not wanting to get up off the couch. It’s a choice we make (turn into an actual potato or do anything else) - but sometimes it doesn’t really feel like that.
It’s the few seconds I spend brainstorming reasons to work from home so I don’t have to brave the cold, terrible, Nebraskan winter.
It’s the “ugh” I feel when I don’t have something prepped for dinner and I have to actually cook something, rather than microwaving some pizza. (I know - first world problems.)
It’s the “maybe next weekend” of having a day off and considering exploring a museum, an art gallery, a record store, but staying home instead.
It’s the “but I’m afraid to go by myself” of being able to afford a plane ticket to a new place but deciding not to.
It's the "they don't care" and "I'm not good enough" of writing these blog posts and making these images and paying for advertisements and working toward a goal that I don't have clearly defined yet.
Resistance - the space between will I, or won’t I?
Most often, when I experience this, I respond fearfully.
I recognize it (usually after the fact), but the part where I make a conscious choice to face it is the part that drove me to the creation of this image.
I’m learning that by responding in fear, I am risking missing out on something potentially wonderful. That not choosing to put in just a little effort means potentially losing out on something life changing. Or even just something fun - a change from the norm.
I try to encourage people to embrace change, and believe that it is a GOOD thing, but it’s occurred to me that I’m unable to do this with the small stuff. It’s comedic. I can move into a new state and have no friends and work a brand new job that’s presented a giant learning curve - but I can’t bring myself to go somewhere by myself and take photos that do my art justice.
rəˈzistəns/ nounthe impeding, slowing, or stopping effect exerted by one material thing on another.
*disclaimer: For those of you reading this who may not know my heart - the intention of this post is not to complain. I am extremely thankful and joyful and feel so blessed in every single aspect of my life.